Happy holidays!

Wow, can't believe it's December already! Our move is fast approaching, and I feel less ready with each passing day. In no way do I not want to be closer to our families and friends or for Michael to start back in a job that he's missed for so long, but we've come to know some pretty neat people down here. However, I do look forward to no longer having to miss family during the holidays, and know Michael really is looking forward to that! While we'll just miss Christmas and New Year's at home (arriving back sometime around January 20-22nd), we both anticipate a delectably chilly last month or two of winter. Read = it was almost 80 degrees here today, on December the 3rd. Despite it's lingering nature in Chicago, I will always err on the cold side of things than not. You can always put on another layer...and those boots and poofy coats sure take up a lot of space in the closet for naught if it never drops below freezing!

Thanksgiving was at our apartment this year. I cooked everything but the mashed potatoes, which was an adventure all its own. Quite satisfying to do all that cooking for two days and have it turn out delicious, but my feet needed about a week to recover. We had four friends over, and everyone seemed to eat well and be happy. I meant to document with some photographs, but was too busy rendering gravy and cutting pie (or eating it...) to remember. Got one good one of the turkey BEFORE it went in the oven, but that doesn't really do everything else justice. Needless to say, I look forward to Christmas, when we will be with my goddaughter's family and, while I will be very happy to bring one or more dishes to warm up or prepare, not making the entire spread.

My teaching duties at Columbus State are very nearly at an end, and how strange it all seems. Almost like a dream. My office is finally beginning to feel my own just in time for me to leave it behind, and my department head and the main French professor have both mentioned multiple times how much they'd rather I stayed. It's nice to feel wanted, especially in the profession I'm in where the pickings are often slim for job openings. I have a few things on the burners for when we get home, but overall know there will be at least a good month or two of less-busy times. After working every weekend save four since March, I'll take that and run with it!

We're excited for my dad's visit later this month. He'll come straight after wrapping up the Christmas tour in Texas, so maybe we'll get him to serenade us with a few carols on my keyboard here. I've fenagled a guest suite through our apartment complex for about half the amount of a hotel and he'll be able to walk just 2-3 minutes to get to our apartment. I'm hoping by that time, Michael will have finished his gear inventory and cleaning production, since currently there is hardly a spare inch of space here to sit! I understand he must do it so that he turns in everything he is supposed to, but it's been a lesson in chaos for me.

It is late, and the things I had planned to work on won't be able to happen this evening, so I shall go rest my head. I hope this finds you well and enjoying the holidays.

Elections, Cholesterol, and Remembrances

This morning I will try to sum up many of the things that I have been wanting to blog about the past several weeks, but haven't had time to. Last week was back to back to back work, teaching, make-up assignments for my students, and appointments. This week, I am thankful to be back into a normal schedule and to see the light at the end of the tunnel for this semester. Before I jump into what I've been mulling over recently, I want to share a verse of Scripture that I have memorized and have been repeating in my mind.

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but He who lives in me. And the life that I now live, I live in faith in the Son of God; who loves me and who gave His life for me.                                                              Galatians 2:20

This verse has served as a constant reminder of the fact that, as Christians, we are not called to our lives or our plans, but to His. C.S. Lewis' metaphor of Christians being Little Christs is perhaps a bit strange when you first read it, but in the end, probably one of the best ways to illustrate what it means. I am thankful that God has given me much and that I have a very specific set of abilities, but we must never forget that we did not earn them, they were simply given out of a love the likes of which we will never see replicated outside of the Trinity - at least not on this side of life. And so today, I want to confess my selfishness and ask for His Spirit to truly enter into me; that I might be a bit more like the Little Christ I was meant to be. I think when one ponders the greatness and love of God, there are two ways we can react: 1) discouragement in the awareness that we can never quite reach the same level of grace no matter how much we try, and 2) encouragement in the truth that He just wants us to ask Him to help us try! Obviously, the latter is what He so desperately desires us to feel, and the former causes many people (including myself, much of the time) a great deal of dark moments. Quite frankly, I am starting to think that those dark moments from being discouraged instead of encouraged by the immensity of God actually pull us away from Him. How awful! So, take heart, and allow yourself to be encouraged by the vastness of the One we call Father, Lord, Alpha & Omega. For He is good, and He has given us all that we have and that we are.

Last week, we re-elected a man in whom I had a great deal of faith 4 years ago. It would seem that many still do, and I would really like to say that I am one of them. However, I was greatly troubled by this election. My husband, who had no doubts coming up to Election Week as to who he would vote for, will tell you that I agonized for weeks. Literally. I won't say more about who I did or didn't vote for, but I will say that somehow I was relieved when I heard "A Chicago ils font la fête!" last Wednesday. (I listen to a French podcast weekday mornings, in hopes to hear somewhat unbiased news of major events in the States.) When I then went to Facebook, I knew I had made a mistake, and that it would have been best to leave well enough alone. Am I not the only one exhausted by our generation's lack of ability to actually discuss and weigh options? All I feel like I have seen is full on trash talking and disrespectful comments worthy of a disgruntled hockey fan. (And mind you, I am very upset by the NHL lockout.) But sports and politics were never meant to be on the same playing field - forgive the pun. In our country, the talk shows about each of them certainly seem to be using the same vocabulary and making the same types of blanket statements. I understand that we are a nation where the freedom of speech is truly a gift. However, I believe it is positively embarassing that so many in this country think it is okay to openly disrespect our President and any candidate running for that office. While I know many felt there was simply not a "safe" choice this election, once you vote, it is out of your hands. It is then our job, I think, to support whoever is elected with the goal of uniting as one people under God and the stars and stripes. What good does it do to be bitter and angry about the outcome of this election? Of course it will impact us all, but in the meantime will we be best served by playing the role of Eeyore, or worse? My hope for the next 4 years is not that they will pass quickly so that we can "move on" or whatever those who dislike Obama have said, but rather, I hope that they will bear the fruit that this man who once impressed and inspired so many of us has been speaking of. If you have faith in God, then you must believe that everything, everything in this world happens for a reason. Sometimes, when it comes to horrible events such as the Holocaust or apartheid in South Africa, it is extremely hard to understand why God allows such things to pass. This is certainly not a subject I will attempt to tackle here. However, would you compare Obama's re-election to the Holocaust in "evil" or in "unalignment" with God's character? I just am baffled by the comments being made publicly on Twitter and Facebook, and by the relationships that are being torn apart because we cannot agree to disagree. Democrats and Republicans are not sports teams. They are people who have professed a certain set of general stance and belief on certain issues.

I am rambling and have probably offended anyone reading this. Much of it I just had to share and get off my chest, because I have been thinking it for the past several weeks. Hopefully you will understand that it comes out of a place of frustration with a generation glued to their iPhones and iPads, and who can hardly have the time to actually learn about a candidate's position. We are losing the ability to truly debate, to discuss something without storming out of a room. I confess that I am guilty of sometimes letting myself get overly emotional when discussing a big issue. But I truly believe that the key to our nation's "come back" is not who we elect, but rather that we learn to work together again. I truly, truly, pray for the President, that he would be able to do what he has set out to and start rebuilding trust and true communication between the two parties. He has quite the opportunity to do so, given that the House is largely Republican. I don't know if he will, but I have faith in him because I am an American and I choose to stand behind the men and women who lead this country. We have much to be proud of, and I think that our President should always be a part of that.

Moving on! Last week, I returned to the doctor to have a follow up appointment for my cholesterol, which back in August I learned was extremely high. It is hereditary, so I really wasn't sure that any changes would have much effect, and also was a bit skeptical given the fact that I already rarely ate fried or fatty foods and worked out regularly. However, I chose to make some changes such as cutting out butter nearly completely and trying to eat some of the foods that are celebrated for their benefits. I have started eating steel cut oats, sweet potatoes, avocados, and more fish. Luckily all of these are delicious and it just takes a bit more planning to eat more of them. It would seem that all of that paid off, because the results are in and my bad cholesterol is back into the normal zone and my good is way up! I was so relieved.

The last thing that I wanted to mention today is Veteran's Day. Last night, we watched part of a special featuring "Lieutenant Dan" and many gifted actors and musicians, along with an entire crowd full of military and their families. It is hard for me to listen to such accounts, because it seems to always bring me to a place emotionally that I really would rather not go back to - the constant wondering whether your loved one is okay, or if they will come home. I always had faith that God knew what He was doing, as He always does, but I just didn't know if I was strong enough to deal with Michael not making it back. Obviously, he has done, and I am thankful for that every day. So as we sit and listen to the accounts of those whose loved ones did not make it back, I am always deeply moved. The strength which is required to endure such trials is absolutely unimaginable to me. I am so thankful for each person that has stood up for his or her country overseas, and who wears the uniform of a soldier. My godbrother, Ryan, and his wife have been through deployments on land and sea and both returned safe and sound. My mom's aunt served as a nurse for many years and lived until she was into her 70's. Michael's grandfather was a chaplain in the Army, and many of his forefathers before him also served. I am surrounded by honorable men and women at home and out in my comings and goings, and I am so very grateful for their sacrifices. I pray that as time goes on, we would need to send less and less of our sons and daughters to protect our freedoms, and that the world would war less and unite more. But whatever happens, we are all fortunate to live in this country, and should be proud to do so. Thank you, Veterans!

Yoga hikes and an open window - fall is here!

It is hard to believe, but fall has indeed arrived this week, even here in Georgia. From the falling, crunchy leaves to the refreshingly cool evenings and mornings that finally prompted me to open up our windows again, I am happy to report it! The cats, too, rejoice in the "freedom" of the fresh air; as I type they each have a window and look out at the prey they will likely never have the honor of killing in real life. Hopefully it livens their dreams!

Lately, now that I have just one day off per week, I often find myself feeling a bit strung out on awakeness. Or business. Or somethingness. But no matter what it is, rarely does it feel like laidbackness! That being said, I am learning to value the three things that I do not only for the income they provide, but for the fulfillment that they really do provide. And it is not simply a fulfillment of knowing I can buy a nice bottle of wine once in a while or even a new pair of shoes, but rather, of knowing that I AM worthy and that I might even be somewhat of a significant asset to the people whom I work for! Hopefully you don't take that as haughtiness, for you may have read my recent post about the struggle I've had with feeling "worthy", particularly of my professorship this semester. Let me extrapolate a bit on that, and why I am [beginning to!] feel more worthy.

My students (I may or may not have mentioned this previously) essentially bombed their first exam. Like, I have never had that bad of a grade breakdown since starting to teach; 6 sections at UIC and the most that I had was 3, I think. In my class of 24, I had 7 with F's and 4 with D's. Not to forget the 3 A's and 5 each of B's and C's, but it was still discouraging to grade more and more and see a consistent stream of my red pen. Perhaps it would help me, too, to take up that research of correcting in some other color in order to reduce stress on students...I've used purple before and may go back! Anyway, the fact of the matter was, when I finally settled down and looked at where most of the points were lost, it wasn't really something that I could have "taught" better: I asked them to review several readings which included cultural information and vocabulary. Now, when I say "I asked them" this does not actually mean, "I kind of mentioned it in passing". I explicitly put it on the top of the review sheet that I made up for them, and in addition, drew their attention to this very fact as we started our review. So I really was quite in disbelief when no fewer than 6-8 students told me as they handed their test in, "I didn't know we were supposed to know that!". Well, perhaps actually showing up to the review or printing it off might have helped you. Just a suggestion for your future success in your college education. All of this to say, that, once I'd taken stock, I did learn some lessons about how to choose which exercises to put on an exam, but was also reminded of the sheer vapidness of the idea that your class will actually do what you say if you do not literally hit them over the head with it. Moving on from my rant on my students...

Despite my recent statements perhaps seeming a bit flippant as far as my end of the responsibility, I did feel a much bigger importance to planning this second chapter better. I began by making the exam so that I could be aware throughout the whole thing what I was preparing them for, and how to best help them succeed. Of course, this all hinges on your lesson plans actually going as planned, which any person in any kind of teaching capacity is well aware is the case perhaps 5% of the time. If you're lucky. I have been so lucky a couple of times just this chapter, and I'm hoping that some of it may even be me learning to lesson plan better! There are always the small frustrations of the questions that you don't really know the answer off the top of your head to, but I am reacclamating to the feeling and really can't beat myself up when I forget some slang terms or mix up the 100th exception to a grammar topic. After all, I do try to remind myself that I would not, by any means, be prepared to teach English grammar at this point in my life, though I would probably have a shot, if anywhere, here in the South. While my French has certainly not been used intensely as much as my English my whole life, I did learn it in a very similar fashion, and probably never really memorized rules like my students have to in order to succeed.

So: my growing feeling of worthiness is coming from a slow opening up to giving myself grace. Grace to take a Monday evening to write and get out a few of the things that have been on my mind outside of the realm of teaching or leasing. Grace to really start enjoying yoga more, and even beginning a breathing and walking routine daily despite the time constraints that I am dealing with. I think what it really ends up coming down to is that I am actually learning about myself. I do love teaching, but many aspects of it are stressful and easily can obscure the simple joys of it. Some things I'm learning, or that I might even venture to say that I've actually learnED:

• I can do an up-dog in yoga. I did one last Friday for the first time, and it was one of the most liberating feelings I've had in a while. And yes, that from just pushing myself up on my hands and the backs of my feet alone. 
• I cannot learn French for my students. It is always possible to improve my teaching, to plan better, and to make fewer mistakes during lessons, but at the end of the day, they are the ones who have to put in the work. 
• We will always work with some people we tolerate better than others. I am fortunate to have an office of people who mostly get on, but there are some moments where I really have to reel myself in. Initially, that caused me to "bring it home" quite a bit, and that impacted my relationship with Michael. So I am learning to deal with it the best that I'm able while in the workplace, and then leave it there when I leave. 

Now you know a bit more where I am with all of that, I do want to share some more about my recent yoga adventures. As it says in the title, I have now participated in my first yoga "hike". My parents both gave me scrunchy faces of confusion and skepticism this afternoon on FaceTime when I said that combination of words, but it really is a cool thing that works. We basically just go on a 2 mile walk, or fast paced walk, and stop periodically (about 4 times) to do some yoga. Most of it was done standing, though at the end we also did some "down dog" and "up dog" type things. The hike was wrapped up with a 10 minute meditation walk and then some quiet time amidst a few candles back in the studio. We then all convened at a restaurant where the yoga studio's husband is chef and her parents own it. Altogether a really really enjoyable evening, and even though Michael wasn't able to join me, I very much felt a wee bit recharged from it. I was of course sore, having done hot yoga earlier that day, too, but it is a sore that if you can't enjoy, you at least understand and appreciate it. The bug bites, not so much. 

Yesterday afternoon, I finally finished watching the final episode of that pivotal teenage drama, The OC, again. It was probably at least the 3rd time I've watched it since I own all 4 seasons, but there is just something so nostalgic about it. [Warning: spoiler alert if you haven't seen it all yet!] The Cohens moving back into the home they started out in, Seth & Summer parting ways for her to go picket for safe oceans and then getting married, Ryan becoming an engineer and having [necessary] Marissa flashbacks. Julie Cooper actually doing something not involving gold-digging also maintained the flow of tears from my eyes. It also has to do with the fact that we were all in highschool when we first watched it. That and One Tree Hill really almost followed our path timewise, though we of course never had make-up quite that perfect or boyfriends quite that spastic. Okay, maybe the boyfriends were spastic, but we certainly never attended a highschool like Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer did. At least Tree Hill High was a small town school. All of this just to say that it is like so many things that spark that longing for "before". It was never as good as we now imagine it, but yet we still seek after those same emotions every once in a while. I am thankful that God has made us with that longing for a reason, and to know that that longing will be fulfilled once we arrive next to Him in Heaven. For now, I suppose we must try to be content with bawling our eyes out as we watch the final episodes of those shows we knew so well over and over. 

Students, thunderstorms, and rollercoasters.

This afternoon in my class, the thing that I imagine any novice language teacher dreads happened to me. I had to look up a word. On my phone. During class. I suppose I should be grateful that I had the option, but it is just so irritating when you know that you know it but you just cannot get it together. The word? Rollercoaster. I really dislike rollercoasters, and thus never really use the word frequently in any language. Of course, this unfortunate moment also came about shortly after I had mixed up the definition of a particular grammar point I was teaching, confusing both myself and my students. The thing teaching helps you realize is, you relearn the rules just as much as they learn them! You know how to say it, but you don't always remember why. It certainly doesn't help matters that I teach a language where literally every single grammar point has at least one exception...and of course, that is always what students want to know about. And in moments like those, all you will be able to think of, invariably, is a full-fledged list of REGULAR verbs. C'est la vie, mes amis.

Lately we have had some very grey and stormy weather in Georgia. I suppose it's got something to do with that Isaac business that we've all heard about, though now I'm pretty sure it's just God laughing at those of us who know what a gorgeous Pacific Northwest summer-to-fall transition looks and feels like. Don't get me wrong, I adore knowing that I will probably be able to go sunbathe at the pool at some point in October. However, I don't so much adore feeling like I live in a sauna every time I walk out of my front door, thanks to 80-90 degree temperatures and 70-90% humidity. But enough complaining - so Georgia is hot & sticky, Washington is cool and refreshing, whether in the sun or rain. Who knew? (Oh, wait. EVERYONE.)

Michael's best friend, Kris, visited us for a week earlier this month, and they had a great time! It was a bit unfortunate that it feel on a week where I was also working more than normal, and subsequently more than my normal level of stressed, but they cooked some great food for me and we also enjoyed a delicious dinner out at Michael's and my favorite restaurant here in town, Buckhead Grill. (Dinner=delicious. Running into one of your students bussing tables after two glasses of wine=Not so delicious.) So, they had a great time fishing, camping, and shooting at the range. I'm glad Kris was able to come down, and am happy that they will soon be able to plan hiking and camping trips regularly up in Washington. Michael still has the rest of this week off, so he has had more time to rest and relax. Tomorrow we both have off, so I am very much looking forward to actually not having an agenda for the first time in at least two or three weeks. Then it will be back to touring people in the Sauna Saturday morning...but I digress.

Teaching has been going well. I'm tempted to say, "It's going forward" in order to not betray too much confidence or positive attitude, but I'll just hedge my bets for now and leave it at "Well." There have been some frustrating moments, but as any teacher knows (and especially in language teaching, or perhaps, math, which is also like a totally foreign language) there are bound to be moments that help you forget the others, in a good way. As I've gotten more familiar with the new book I'm using and been reminded of the usual blank stares students give you 60-80% of the time, I have begun adjusting and learning faster and faster when it comes to my teaching style and lesson planning. Their first exam is in a week, so we'll see what we'll see then. I have a group where there are many strong students and several who struggle very much, so we'll see how it evens out. They were put into their first seating chart today, so I'm hoping that by the next exam, that will help distribute people out better during group work, so that they aren't always working with their buddies or the same person. Every class has such unique dynamics, and even those can change from day to day. I have to constantly remind myself to reflect on when I was in college and grad school: though I know I was a good student who generally performed well (especially in language classes), I also know that there were inevitably days where my facial expression would have knocked a clown right out of his shoes, it was so not cheery! (A happy clown, not a horror clown.) That always, always, helps me feel better and, I hope, think more realistically about "how I did". Really, the proof is in the pudding no matter what you refer to. In this case, the "pudding" is made up of many factors, but the most reliable are exams and projects students have time to work on and prepare for.

I'm currently at my office and must get home. Many blessings to you all, and happy fall!

High cholesterol?

Just a quick note as I need to get back into preparing for classes to start next week the rest of the day. Yesterday, my bloodwork confirmed that my cholesterol was exceptionally high despite my age. It has sparked my interest in learning more about how to cook or enjoy fruits and vegetables in a variety of ways. On one hand it is a bit frustrating, since I have been working extra hard the past couple months on exercise and cooking healthy. Butter is one of the few things I can work to eliminate completely, but otherwise I really only fall down on ice cream (and have done so much less than was normal for me previously!). 

This morning, Michael and I went to the massive gym on base; he has today and tomorrow off for a 4-day weekend and I'm off also. He was meeting some guys to play basketball and so I got some time to focus on a good hour and fifteen minutes of cardio. My goal is to kick cholesterol's butt all the way to the other side of the world! Haha. Though that alone will probably not push the numbers down, I am optimistic and remain determined to continue working out consistently despite the impending spike in business of my schedule :)

So, just a little word on recent events and what I intend to do about them. I finally received the final official word about when and what I will be teaching starting next week. It will be a French 1002 Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and only one section. I am thankful, despite the 50% drop it obviously means in the salary. With my work at Greystone, I sometimes have to work harder to "leave work at work" than I used to at grad school, it feels like! Thus, I am excited to be able to continue that while taking advantage of an opportunity at Columbus State, which will get me some invaluable experience in this current job. Of course, prayers and encouragement are always happily received :)

Old Friends

I suppose we all have a song or a melody that causes the tears to come right to our eyes, no matter where we are or what frame of mind we may be in. We may be told in the Bible to always be anticipating what is to come and to look for the Kingdom of God, seizing every moment - but in our human state we are still formed by the events of our lives, the origins of these tender parts of our hearts where only a poem or a song can touch a part of us long changed or even gone. One of these songs for me is Old Friends, a Simon & Garfunkel classic that came into the world long before I did. I'm sure that my initial reaction comes always from the fact that I know my dad will never sit on a park bench with my godfather, who was his best friend and who has passed now 12 years ago. However, I know in my heart that he has been blessed with many, many other friends with whom he will share that park bench someday. As the song continues, it brings any listener, I would assume, to ponder their own season of life and their own dear friends. Being 25 myself, the line "How terribly strange to be 70" certainly rings true. I have struggled quite a bit in the last few years with seeing my parents and relatives age after I have been away for long periods of time, and to think of when I will be the grandmother or the great-aunt and what that will look like is truly strange. Not in a negative way, but just in the very true sense of that word. Foreign comes to mind, also. For now, I am happy to be where I am and that I am healthy and blessed with a family that I will grow older with for a long while yet. We are indeed made for a greater Place, but this never seems to fully erase the realities of our physical bodies and the ties we have with our loved ones here on the earth.

Things are gearing up for a particularly busy fall here in Georgia. In two weeks, I will begin my first teaching job outside of grad school at Columbus State University. It is still hard to believe that I am actually a professor. Maybe if I started the lesson planning that I have been putting off, I would feel more comfortable in the role! Ha. I am excited for this new adventure, and somewhat glad that it is only one semester; I'll have enough time to get into a good rhythm and learn many new things, I'm sure, but working two jobs will only last a little over three months. I will continue to work at Greystone, with only a change in schedule to avoid working literally seven days a week. I will also continue tutoring the little girl that I do, although lately she is complaining that it is "too hard". We may have to take a couple of sessions to work on cursive or singing French songs instead of learning new words, but I am optimistic that, in her extreme youth of 4 years old, she will pull through! So, it will certainly not be a dull period.

I hope that all is well with you, and pray that you will be blessed today! Hopefully I will be back again soon for more updating. Much love to you!

Another season

This week marks somewhat of (another!) new season in our time in Georgia. Michael's unit is heading out on a deployment, but he will not be going with them. He's been assigned to stay back and be one of the general maintenance mechanics with two other guys. What a gift it is! Until we got the final-final-final word, I tried to focus on the positives of both scenarios: if he goes, we have the opportunity to save some extra money and I will be busy with work; if he stays, obviously we are saved from another long period of separation. I am thankful, however, that it ended up being the latter. Due to the perks of my work as well as just simply having a second income, we have started to save a little extra money already. In preparation for our move back home to Washington, this is going to come in handy! The Army will be moving the bulk of our belongings, but we plan to drive our truck cross-country to meet them. We are so excited!!!

As I write this morning, I am listening to a "vintage" Third Day album that brings me far back to when Michael and I first met and were both part of the youth group at Faith Fellowship church. My godfather, Dave, was still alive and it felt like life could only get better. The truth is, it does; just not usually in the way that you think it will! Who knew that all those years ago (Team H&M has known one another for almost 15 years at this point...) I had met the person I would end up spending the rest of my life with! It is so strange to reflect upon. Lord help me if a child of mine has the same thing happen...! This music also brings me back to some of my best memories with some great friends. I am glad to still know all of them and look forward to getting to "know" them again; this time, we are pretty much all grown up and much changed! It seems that the joy of looking forward to moving back west grows each day as I realize more and more just how much I have missed in being so far away for so long. Of course, God only knows what will come in the future, but no matter what it is, I am thankful that we look forward to at least some time actually living near our oldest friends and our families!

Grateful as I am that Michael will not be leaving for Kuwait this week, my heart goes out to those who are preparing to say goodbye for many months. I have never been present for the very departure, so it is already a new experience to be here for it. I do know, however, the moment of that last conversation on the US cell phone and the strange flood of emotion that follows and continues for the next 9-12 months. This deployment should only last 9 months, but I believe that that may mean they do not get a 2 week R&R like a normal deployment. Needless to say, it breaks my heart to know what our fellow spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, and children are going through at this time. It is a surreal thing to think that we will not see them again before we move, most likely. I know we will be back to Georgia, since my goddaughter is here, but it will be strange to not be able to pick up the phone and invite someone over to the pool for a barbeque.

My job has been going well. I finally feel very comfortable with almost each scenario and task, and have been working on reformulating my attitude also. It is so easy to not fight the habit of just waiting to get off work. What for? I love spending time with Michael, but often when I get home the biggest event is doing the dishes! The past two weeks have been especially taxing, due to the last-minute absence of one of my coworkers and me covering for her. I enjoy being in the office on a more full-time basis, but I didn't get any time off between the week prior to when I filled in, so by Friday I was a wreck! Friday night we went to Atlanta with one of Michael's friends and were out very late, so today is the first day I am really just taking to rest. I've come down with a bit of a cold, but hope to nip it in the bud by Wednesday afternoon when I go back to the office. So - my new attitude. I figure it is such a waste of energy to focus on what time one gets to leave; it sets you up for much more disappointment if a customer arrives right before closing, and pretty much blocks any occasion of enjoyment. Touring someone is not an inconvenience but an opportunity to get to know someone who very possibly could be a resident at some future time. Why not focus on them? It has added much spring to my step. An interruption to writing an email or working on a lease can lead to the most enjoyable conversation of the day.

I hope that this post finds you all well.

It has been quite some time since I last updated this! Things have been busy since I started my job as a leasing consultant, and I'm finally adjusting to a new rhythm. Even just part-time was a pretty big change, especially since I work on the weekends. It does give Michael some time to go fishing and relax without me telling him to change the channel or do his chores (!), but with the heat having already started here in the South, I am simply drained by the time I arrive home even after 4 hours! That being said, I am so incredibly grateful to have a job, and have worked hard to change my thinking and attitude now that my free time for errands is limited. I've also interviewed and am waiting on the final word on a job as a French instructor at Columbus State University in the fall. Basically, they are just finalizing the schedule before telling me which sections I will be teaching, so that is very exciting. It will only be for that semester since we will be returning to Washington in early 2013, but I figure that any experience actually teaching at a university will be a huge plus to be able to have on my résumé! I continue, also, tutoring an adorable little 4 year old named Chloé in the language.

Michael and I just returned from our last trip home to Washington last week. It was a whirlwind, as usual, but we had some great time with both families, as well as with a new family, the Yakobchuks, as our brother Joel married their Ella on May 20th. It was a beautiful wedding and both of us were honored to be included in the wedding party. Here is a picture of me with my two sisters-in-law:

We were able to be with both of our moms on Mother's Day; Michael hadn't been together with Deborah for it for 6 years! The weather was absolutely amazing up until the day before Joel & Ella's wedding, but luckily it was indoors and just as stunning as it would have been if the sun had been out. There was enough of a break in the rain for us all to take some of the photos outdoors. The newlyweds have headed off to Fiji for two weeks. Ella is so sweet and we are really looking forward to getting to know her better after we are back in the area. 

Today we have the day off for Memorial Day and remember those who have given their lives for this country and our freedoms. It saddens me to hear of the many soldiers Michael works with today that don't really seem to have realized how big of a responsibility it is to wear the uniform, but I also believe that God knows what He is doing and has a hand in it all, even when things seem particularly unreasonable! We have been fortunate to meet many soldiers and officers who have been truly inspirational to both of us, and who Michael looks up to very much. 

Here are a couple more pictures to wrap up this post - I meant to take more, but have gotten a bit too lax with my photos the past year! Getting too settled in to an "everyday" life, I suppose :)

Entering the work force

I had really hoped to update before going in to my new job last week, but obviously never got around to it. So, here I am. This may be one of the first times that I truly am relieved that it's Saturday. Grad school was pretty consistently a full-time thing (and often more than that, but as far as going to and from the school) but there was so much downtime and I wasn't paid hourly, so I think there was slightly less pressure to use every second effectively even in the office. I feel kind of like a jerk when I mention how tired I am, given how much harder and longer hours Michael works every week, but it is a big transition for me nonetheless. Juggling dinner prep and trying to keep the apartment looking like someone picks up dishes and clothes every once in a while is a lot more tiring when you've been away for nine hours.

The job has started out really well, and I'm getting more and more excited about it. I've never been a leasing consultant or even worked in any kind of real "sales" position, so I've been on pretty constant information overload for the past five days. However, now most of the information either sounds familiar because I've heard it before by this point, or else my mind is settled enough that it's absorbing new things easier again :-) The office I'm doing my training at is staffed with the greatest people, and the lady training me is truly a gem. She was actually the person who rented Michael and I our current apartment over a year and a half ago, and just transferred to her current property about four months ago, so it really helps to know the person you're being trained by. It makes it feel slightly less intimidating since I've already interacted with her quite a bit. I have the utmost respect for her skill and she's a great teacher.

I don't know whether I even really gave much detail, if any, about this job; the last time I blogged I believe I had just heard there was another position open but hadn't received it yet. I'm working for Greystone Properties, and you should check out their website! We have lived in Greystone apartments since we were married, and their service and homes are impeccable and have a matching reputation in the Columbus area. It is truly an honor to have become a part of their "family", and it really does feel as such; everyone is very nice and welcoming. It also helps that they all seem to love working for the company. As with any job/position in customer service, you will always have residents who need very special attention or requests that approach the impossible, but GS does a fantastic job of training its employees to overcome obstacles and to have options for such residents, even if their requests to end up being impossibilities!

Last weekend was my 25th birthday, and we had a fun time celebrating. I literally took two photos the whole time, and they are on Michael's phone so I will have to get them eventually. Lately, I just am not really inspired to document every moment...mostly because I know it will mean organizing it all on my computer at SOME point! Even since I've gotten an external drive to back up my entire laptop, I still don't want to add much memory. Anyway, my birthday: We just had a bit of a party at our friends' house, and it was really nice to just hang and visit with a few couples we are close with down here. I was given some very sweet gifts, and really felt loved. My first crack at homemade buttercream frosting for my chocolate cake, however, was NOT a huge success. I guess I shouldn't have been as disappointed as I was that it tasted so much like butter, given the name...

Michael is heading out for a month of training this week, so today and tomorrow I am doing my very best to keep myself from spending much time cleaning - I suppose it can wait until he's away :-) Not that he doesn't like it clean, but his idea of when it needs cleaning and mine are, not surprisingly, a bit different! Starting work has definitely begun to help me let go of keeping everything perfectly spiffy 100% of the time, though, so maybe our opinions of cleanliness will begin to be more similar eventually. I will miss him while he's gone, but it will give me a good chance to get into the swing of my job schedule (it will only be part time, but I'm sure it will still take me some time to get my other weekly activities working well together!) so that he can go back to not worrying about so many dinner details! He has been so helpful even though he's worked a full week, too, and I am greatly indebted to his patience.

I will sign off for now, but hope to come back for an update soon.

Fliers, French blogs, and fasting

Now that I get up at 4:30am during the week, the days seem to be even longer...and yet still go by just as quickly, most of the time! That's fine with me, since I've actually been getting work almost daily. Sometimes it's hard to "cut myself off" since lately there seem to always be many files left after several hours of work, but in order to keep my sanity and house tidied, I do so however reluctantly.

I just finished reading a recent entry of a good friend's blog who is currently finishing out her last semester/quarter(s) of grad school, and it makes me pretty happy to be done with that! Going through the program at UIC was a great learning experience and I really did enjoy much of it, but last year was truly exhausting. Sometimes it feels like I have little to show for it other than a flimsy piece of paper, but I know that God just needs to mold me to what He's got in store. A couple weeks ago, I started a fast in conjunction with the church Michael and I have been attending, and while I don't fast 100%, even just fasting most of the daytime after breakfast and before dinner has opened my eyes to what is truly important. (Or not important!) Some days, I don't make it to 4:30pm without having a light snack, but I do always think a lot more about God, His faithfulness, and praying (if I don't actually sit down and do so...) than I have in a long time, and maybe ever. I think part of that is also that I have had such a period of quiet schedules the past nine and a half months; I really believe it's made me more open to listening and improving that particular skill. It's easy during a fast to constantly feel like you're failing: I gave in to hunger, I forgot to pray, I didn't read my Bible as long as I wanted... But I'm learning that it isn't really about that. Of course, to try again the next day, but I think the most important element is that you think about those things, period. Our minds are amazing works of the Lord; even as we get older and the sponginess of them seems to dry up (i.e. we don't remember as much as we used to, learning new things is probably harder, etc. ), they can still be molded by practice and patience! Well, I suppose it's God who does much of that molding, but it still usually takes more time than WE would like :) So, that's been good, and I think coming into this year from last has intensified the experience quite a bit, and I am thankful.

Earlier this week, I got in touch with some people that I maybe should have about nine months back when I arrived back in Georgia: a tutoring center at the university down the road and a temp agency. Of course, as fate (and probably God, taking a little poke at me, and seeking to teach me from each tiny situation) would have it, I got ahold of someone at both places immediately, and someone - lo and behold! - helpful! What a breath of freaking fresh air. Not that there aren't any sweet, kind, helpful people anywhere here, but many are indeed just rushing around, nearly hitting or merging into you on the freeway and in various sumo-parking lots. And heaven forbid you ask them to go above and beyond their job description by asking them a question about something other than their usual tasks. Okay, that rant is closed. Moving on: so the sweet, sweet, enthusiastic lady at the Columbus State University tutoring center sounded even a bit excited when I explained I had my M.A. in French and had noticed they didn't have a French tutor listed on their website. [sweet lady:] She would get in touch with me as soon as they had someone come in asking for one, and we could contract directly, since I wasn't a CSU student. [me:] Could I post fliers even if we might arrange an in-center arrangement at some point? [sweet lady:] Well, don't YOU post them, just bring them to ME, and I'll do it! [back to normal blog] I barely recognized this overwhelmingly positive situation and experience. So, I must make exciting FLIERS. For once, a project that doesn't involve sifting through endless retail positions on Indeed.com and GreatColumbusJobs.com that I know won't even be something I want! Thank the Lord.

Finally, this week, I have been contemplating and discussing starting a French blog. My friend in Lille, Claire-lise, has kindly agreed to check for grammar and vocab slip-ups periodically, and I hope to write on a variety of subjects, thus taking me back a bit to more research-based writing. Of course, I won't be writing eight to twelve page dissertations, but I do think that it is important that I don't completely let my edge slip away during this interim from academia. So, for those of you who are French speakers and writers, stay tuned. And for now, this is me signing off from my English blog!

Packages, early mornings, and POWER HAPPY!!!

This week I've had the pleasure of getting up at the same time as my dear husband. Who knew 4:30am came so early??? Well, I suppose probably all of you, and even me in my mind, but the transcription work was slow after 8am and I was tired of not making headway there. It has already paid off even in just the first three days, but today I think I will take a day off. There are loads of people who are always competing for the files, so I won't get too anxious about whether they'll miss me :)

Yesterday, I received two very special packages from France. Claire-lise has been extremely faithful in sending annual or bi-annual little boxes of books, make-up, and fanciful hairpieces (and the occasional fashion piece!) since we were roommates over five years ago. Our friendship while I was there, ironically, didn't really start deepening until the last few months or so that I was there, but since then, we seem to have managed to maintain and even strengthen it through emails, Skype and one great visit two years ago in Lille. Her boyfriend, Samuel, and her do not really speak English, but despite this Michael and him hit it off quite famously, though there were lots of requests for interpretation from CL and myself! We hope that they will visit us in the States someday, and of course we'd love to see them in their home again, too. Anyway, the packages! The first was a calendar of some old photography about Paris; all classic, black & white images that will be a joy to look at during 2012 and beyond. The second was truly a work of art. I honestly have no idea how the woman packed it so beautifully and it seemed to be intact...including the porcelain salt & pepper shakers! Just a few of the treasures: a travel-size, blood-red nail polish; a planner for 2012 which contains 52 recipes for cooking vegetables; a desk calendar block with "365 Useless Pieces of Information" - "for Michael to learn some words without it being too boring"; a book by an author that CL and I both really enjoy; and several other small things. The whole thing was sprinkled with miniature deer figures (as if from a play set) and large "sprinkles". I can't seem to bring myself to completely dismantle it quite yet. I may just spray it with schlack and mount it on the wall, for that matter!

Finally, this morning, I wish to share a music video with you. However, this is no ordinary music video, though it could easily catch on and become a radio hit. You won't find it littered with expletives, references to inappropriate conduct, or making money. Instead you will be blinded by the neon pajama suits and loafers, awed by the scenery as the band cliff jumps several hundred feet, and I guarantee you will have a big, silly smile on your face by the time Grandma is almost falling over in the 80's-themed party bus. "Power Happy!" is the latest single from Con Bro Chill, the wildly popular alter ego of Connor Martin, a young man that I grew up with. (If the link doesn't take you right to that video, you can find it on the right-hand column.) Connor's fanbase originates largely from the US lacrosse community and a huge collection of friends in Oregon. The energy, laughter, and joy of this video can also be found in his others; Come To My Party, Arena, and Respect Your Partner. The band includes his crazy-talented older brother, SAMM (aka Sam, whose music you can also find and purchase on iTunes), Ty, and Steve. Please watch this, as it may just turn an otherwise grey or snow-impeded day into one of the best of the week. Oh, and go pre-order the new album on iTunes! POWER HAPPY!!!

Some recent photos.

Jes & I the night I arrived / Coram Deo Christmas Concert at Northminster Presbyterian Church in Ballard, WA.

The photo of the kitties my friend watching them sent us / Celebrating Christmas Day with my Grandpa Dale and Lynn.


Dinner at our former youth pastor, Tim's, restaurant with his wife Wendy. Both of our families came and so did theirs - a fun reunion and AMAZING food at Epulo Bistro in Edmonds, WA! / The cats' latest addition: a play-tower that gets used for naps and lookouts just as much as throw-downs.

A new year and a renewing mind

My cats' new peacock feather (a gift from doting, though spatially distant, grandmom Burgess) is shredded to pieces, so it must be the start of the second week of 2012! I never got around to writing in December, as I was away for the better part of the month in Washington. It was really fun to help out on the last leg of my dad's Christmas tour, which, though ticket and CD sales can be a bit of a thrash, always provides many a welcome reunion of old friends. I was particularly blessed to get to spend a couple evenings/afternoons with my dear, dear friend Jes while we were in Oregon. It's amazing how some of the people God puts in our lives push through the limitations that time and space have tried to impose; there may indeed be times where we feel a bit more out of touch than others, but the important thing is to focus on the times we can come together again.
Michael joined me about a week and a half after I left and we had a great two weeks celebrating Christmas and several birthdays with our families. My grandfather celebrated his 85th birthday on December 15th, and the day after, my brother-in-law his 23rd. There was a big party at the retirement community my grandpa lives to honor him, and it was a blast - pink champagne, jingle bells, and all, put on by his dear friend, Lynn. Christmas Eve has become a joint event, which is always nice: my parents come down for dinner and then head off to the Christmas Eve service at their church while we stay and open presents with Michael's family, after which we head up to Camano late to rest up for Christmas morning. This year, a big wind storm blew up Christmas Day and we lost power around 9am. But that didn't stop us! We were all set to have a power-less, candlelit dinner with Grandpa and Lynn when the power came back on just as they were coming up the driveway! Mom and I decided that, while we certainly could have pulled it off without, having the power was quite nice.
We caught a red-eye back to Georgia on the 30th, arriving mid-morning on New Year's Eve. It was a long trip, but we experienced an eventless, relatively on-schedule progression from our first leg all the way to catching the shuttle as we walked up! By the way, we were very impressed by Continental Airlines' service, despite the baby plane we spent the last hour or so of flight on. The are one of the few who still exempt military and family traveling with them of bag fees, and they do it with a big smile. Michael has had to pay over $100 before due to a heavy bag, which just puts a bad taste in your mouth about the airline having any regard for military! So this was a welcome change. It helped that their boarding process is actually quite functional - rows, imagine that! - and therefore, time effective. We certainly hope to choose them over other airlines in the future, if the fares don't differ drastically!

The past week and a half, like so many others in the wake of the new year, I have been contemplating my resolutions for 2012. I did write several down, and hope to stick to them, but the past few days have raised a greater resolution that isn't really one you can sum up in a line or two on a piece of paper. I'll try to explain. (Bear with me!)
As we prepared to return home during the last few days in Washington, I mentally started "organizing" a new routine for myself during the week. I have put some of it into practice, but a significant piece of it has been seemingly altered. (God, I'm onto you! Ha.) I had very much hoped and planned to lay into my transcription work, but this requires that there be files actually available to transcribe! As I sat down to my computer the first morning that I wasn't restoring our apartment to a normal state of order (read = Wednesday), I thought for sure 9am would be early enough to snag some audio minutes. Imagine my dismay when nearly all the time stamps on the files taken (which was literally all of them) were at or immediately following 8:30am! "Well," I thought, "I guess today I'll be proofing transcription." What do you know, but every time I attempted to put my name on a file, someone put theirs in just seconds before I finalized it. At that point, I knew had a choice: I could sit there for the next two to three hours and be continually frustrated by the situation (the file-snatching happened several times in a row) or I could leave it be and do something else with my time.
For the rest of that day (scattered between other tasks and chores, like stopping my cats from prematurely destroying their latest toy) I resolved to look for work. I did so mainly on the site where I was originally hired from for this transcription position, oDesk.com. While there were many positions that I know are not for me, such as the "Seeking French-Speaking Mathematical Marvel", there were a few that I felt I had a shot at, so I applied. (On a side-note, my college roommate, now a math teacher and always a mathematical marvel, and I decided we could have gotten the job cooperatively, but not separately. What a shame.) I also updated my profile on the site, which I felt was a good idea, since the more you can say for yourself and that people/potential employers can see without digging too far, the better. Well, assuming you have good things to tout...
It felt like I'd made good use of time that otherwise might have been wasted in frustration, and planned to nab some files the next morning. Only, the same thing happened, both following days. And, again, this morning. Even this morning, at 8am, I still managed to miss getting any files.
Where is all of this leading? Well, I have the sneaking suspicion that perhaps I am working too hard to try to do and be. Don't get me wrong, I by no means intend to sit back and let jobs find me, for that is clearly not the solution. No, I rather mean to say that I am still holding myself almost 100% to my recent situations and expectations, where I was constantly under stress and on a tight schedule. In those situations, those were healthy things, because I was completing coursework and other tasks related to teaching my own classes. Here, in Georgia, where my husband and I are still trying to figure out how domestic life together works, the pressure that I have continued to put on myself is an impediment not only to my peace of mind and contentment, but his as well! It seems we are constantly having messy, emotional conversations about money, time, tidiness, etc., and nothing ever seems to get resolved. Until recently, this has been a bit of a mystery to me; I feel sometimes like I am in Groundhog Day. Incidentally, this is one of my least favorite movies of all time!
I have found that I am still trying to be who I've been. This gets a little wonky when what you've been is so many things: an only child, and only grandchild, a high powered student, a runner, a highly social person, a teacher... The list might go on. It isn't that I should try to stop being those things, because many of them are a part of my personality, of my person, who I am. But I do need to open myself up to the other things that God has made me and wants to make me. Since I moved from Chicago, I've spent loads of time trying to get back to where I was, when really I need to just move forward. I've listened to what others have suggested would be best, but don't even know what I think would be best! Or by that same token, I haven't always been listening to what my husband thinks would be best along with those pieces of advice. Neither he or I pretend to believe that he should make my decisions for me or dictate any part of my life. That being said, we are truly a team in marriage, and that team doesn't always include our families when it comes to decision-making.
This has been an extremely trying realization for me, but I think that God is asking me to stop trying to "do life" by my own strength, and to change the way I form expectations and make decisions. During college and my master's program, I was able to rely mainly on myself, and didn't really need to reach out to Him to achieve. (Of course, during Michael's and my time apart, I did reach out, but it was pretty cursory when I look back at the big picture.) My hope now is to stop working so hard to prove that I still am who I was, that I am still achieving in the same way; I'm not, but that isn't the point. When Michael asks me, over and over, "What do you want?", the answer has yet to hit me over the head. Other people's thoughts as to what would be best for me and Michael, for our future, etc. come to mind. And maybe some or all of that advice is accurate. But I don't want it to only come from outside of me, and I want it to originate within me.
Maybe this made sense, or maybe not. But to me, this process finally feels that it is moving forward and not backward. I don't know where it's leading yet, but looking backward certainly didn't lead anywhere, and seemed to bring much strife to a home that should be overjoyed just to be in one place! I know the road is not easy, but I also know that His burden is light, and that He has great things for me.

If you've read all of this, I hope you will pray for me during this time, and also don't hesitate to share any thoughts with me through email. Blessings to you as this new year begins!