Christmas trees and reevaluation

This morning I am having some random thoughts. Perhaps because the cold I thought I'd fought off has returned in moderate force and I haven't been sleeping well, but either way I'm in the mood to share them :)

It amazes me how early stores stock their Christmas deco. It must have been at least 2 weeks ago (=mid-SEPTEMBER) that Michael and I were looking for a new plant to replace his recently-deceased aloe vera at Wal-Mart. Lo and behold, as we were walking out of the Gardening Center, I looked up and there were no less than five fake Christmas trees on full display! Seriously. It is sad to me that a holiday that was originally meant to celebrate the birth and arrival of a divine Savior has turned into the biggest marketing ploy of each year. Luckily, there are many organizations such as World Vision that are able to truly help people through their programs around this time of year. The simple joy of "giving" a pig or a goat to a needy family in a far-away country in honor of a loved one is really indescribable, though many are yet inexperienced in it. We cannot all travel to those places and help firsthand, but we can all help provide something for someone who needs it far more than we ever will.

Yesterday I had a long conversation with my dad in which I realized that my job search is perhaps becoming temporarily obsolete, given that the holidays are actually approaching. (This does not mean I'm going to go purchase one of those trees, however.) Living so far away from our families, the holidays are a truly special time for Michael and I, and I really don't think I would sacrifice even a few days of that time because of a job. If I had been hired for a job in my actual field, or thought that there was a potential job in it available now, I might consider the alternatives. However, lately I'm contacting people and applying to jobs that are part-time and completely unrelated to my studies. It's true that, on one salary and as we are still in the early stages of marriage and learning how to do finances in a smart manner, it's been up and down. But where do we draw the line between working to live and living to work? In the US it has moved from being a grey area to an increasingly disparate black and white that prioritizes work in order to attain some kind of materialistic status. Having a new car, indulging our every impulse, eating out - all have become "givens", though they need not be. We must learn to see this in our society and almost rebel against it if we wish to prioritize the things that warrant prioritizing.

Thus to say that I am wondering what good it is to apply to many more jobs at this point, since we hope to be gone several weeks only shortly after I would hypothetically be hired. It has been a good experience filling out applications and searching for jobs, and perhaps I will still find a part-time position that will be flexible. But for now, I am going to spend the day cleaning and practicing my piano, because life goes on. I have a roof over my head, an indecently nice car outside, and a wonderful husband who loves and respects me and our life. There are up days and down days, but at the end of them all, we're together finally, and that is good.

TSwizzle, ATL, and Craigslist ads

The first weekend in October was chock-full of fun activities. As I shared before, we'd been anxiously awaiting the Taylor Swift concert, as well as a trip to the zoo and a night away in Atlanta. While these kinds of activities cost way more than they should these days, it was a great getaway and well worth it.

The show was quite amazing; much more like a Broadway show than a concert, complete with sets and people and instruments popping out of the floor at various points (including Usher!). The music was great and the opening band didn't disappoint, either. What a load of screaming girls there were there, though! I think Michael and I agreed we'd never seen to many prematurely made-up, cowboy-boot touting people in one place. That being said, it was definitely a fun experience.

This photo is of her performance of "Back to December". That white piano came up out of the stage...

Earlier in the day before the concert, we enjoyed touring the zoo and seeing many baby animals (giraffe, panda, and kangaroo-in-pouch) as well as some of the "old standbys" (some of those monkeys are older than we are!). The lunch we ate at the food court was much less than great, but in a pinch it got the job done, especially since my plan to bring sandwiches didn't pan out, given the bare fridge and breadbox at our apartment...

The momma and baby panda trundling around part of their outdoor habitat.


The red panda is possibly my favorite zoo animal, though she tends to be asleep at any and all times of day. So little and cute.

The morning after the concert, we headed over to the neighborhood by Piedmont Park for a delicious brunch at the Five Napkin burger joint. It was an amazing banana French toast, including Corn Flakes as part of the batter! After that, we had a nice leisurely walk around the park, which was packed with runners, picnickers, and dog owners. We always love to walk to the gazebo where we got engaged, and this time the pool across the lake from it was full of even more dogs! Apparently the following day, they were cleaning it, so they let owners bring their canines in for a little weekend frolic. Pretty entertaining!


This morning, Michael headed out to the field for a week. He just switched to a new unit (or company, I get all the terms mixed up, all the time!), and has loved it so far. This makes me a very, very happy person, since previously he was really struggling. It's such a shame that the majority of soldiers seem to have such a sub-par experience, because I feel that it would take little to no extra effort for the Army to make it at least bearable across the board. But that would require people to put aside power trips, pointless yelling and/or ranting, and needless punishment of people who didn't actually do anything wrong. Therefore, nothing will change anytime soon... so the best one can hope for is to land in a unit that has their head on straight!

Michael's trips to the field are always interesting for me, because, still without a job, it's really a whole new experience for me to literally have no schedule. In Chicago, it was easy to find things to do, since I could walk, metro, or bus virtually anywhere in town and there was an abundance of great parks and recreation available year-round. Here, it's definitely a different story! The TV is, of course, a constant temptation that I do all I can to avoid sitting in front of for hours on-end. I tend to spend a lot of time cleaning, hanging with the cats, and working out at the gym or outdoors. Until recently, the pool was a constant in my daily routine as well, but the past weeks and a half have seen a much milder weather pattern, even including some refreshing rain showers and temperatures the past few days. Unfortunately, I've gotten so used to the sunny weather that it will probably take me a few spouts like this to get up the snuff to get out and run outside in it! Sad day for a girl raised in the Pacific Northwest!

Yesterday, Michael finally convinced me to get the Craigslist app for my phone, since I haven't even gotten a call back for any of the applications I've submitted or jobs I've pursued. It was really hard when I didn't hear back after the group interview a couple weeks ago, and I think I had somewhat given up without realizing it even though it was only the first "rejection". The thing that is so frustrating (hopefully I'm not turning into a broken record here) is the lack of response if you DON'T get hired/called for a second round of interviews. I just think it's common courtesy, and would probably make a huge impact on job seekers' self-confidence regardless of it being a yes or a no. It just feels as though one isn't even important enough of acknowledgement if they aren't "chosen", and that isn't something that only happens in a job search. It happens all through life in various forms, and to have it hit you in this arena feels pretty dang low. We all know the economy is floundering, but we could all use at least one person to tell us, "You know, you aren't the right person for us right now, but keep looking!" Pipe dreams of compassion seem to let us down a lot.

Anyway, Craigslist. Since yesterday, I've sent nearly 20 emails regarding various receptionist/front desk positions (since there are none actually pertaining to what I've studied and worked on the past 6 years) and have only gotten one answer. That answer was informing me that the ad was apparently for a sort of "middle man" who companies hire when they have had complaints or think their customer service needs improvement. Hmm. Not really a legitimate ad then, is it, lady?? My goodness. And no you may not have all of my personal information so that you can "figure out what site is closest for me and/or best for my personal schedule"! So, so far, not too promising. However, yesterday was a holiday so I won't give up yet and will continue to send out emails as new ads go up. One of the hard things with Craigslist is that people repost ads constantly, so it's hard to tell sometimes if you've already responded to one if it's relatively general. Ugh.

So, the ups and downs continue. For now, it makes me very happy that Michael is so much happier at work, and we're hoping for a quick promotion as soon as he's [finally!] enrolled in some courses to get closer to the points requirement.

Online couponing...?

This morning I am wasting an amazing amount of time trying to pull some advantage and/or actual savings from online "couponing". I know there are women who have saved literally thousands of dollars by doing this, and while I have no intention or aspiration to that level of the activity, I am wondering how even $5 savings is possible! I have spent the past hour or so "signing up" for a couple sites, but they all ask you to sign up for about a billion "offers" in the process, none of which I'm particularly comfortable doing. Thus, I'm wondering if the whole thing has been a waste of time, since all offers seem to depend on one another to succeed or provide any benefit, somewhat like dominoes.

It does feel like this is a total waste of time, but since it's very stormy outside and I don't have anywhere to be until this afternoon, I guess it's not the end of the world! I'll just have to keep checking to see if there are coupons for stuff we actually use periodically, and hope that I haven't inadvertently signed my soul away this morning via my email or birthday. Ugh, I am so tired of companies and individuals taking advantage of even simple things like contests, that used to be fun and worry-free! If I enter, I should win or never hear from them again, I think. But if I don't win, it seems to be a worse situation, since one receives an eternity of spam emails just for hoping for one little prize. NOT COOL.

Cats are pretty funny. I bathed both of ours yesterday morning, and they proceeded to spend the rest of the day taking about three times as many baths of their own than usual. Apparently they didn't like the smell of the flea soap...

More job searching, and memories.

The past week or so has been interesting. I suppose that, since Michael's job is fraught with continual disorganization and chaotic last-minute changes (none of which are his doing, but many of which "happen" at 10pm the night before something is scheduled...as if they don't know before then), most weeks could be characterized as "interesting" from someone else's point of view. However, these ridiculous and nonsensical decisions on the part of his bosses and those who are in charge (for what reason I have no idea) happen to be a part of the "quotidien", the everyday existence as a soldier at Fort Benning. So when I say interesting, I speak more for my own doings, since I am, after all, just a selfish human :)

Last Wednesday, I not only had a wonderful coffee date with a new friend, but I got a call for an interview for a job I have been hoping to get. The catch: it's a group interview, which is a term that has baffled me since way before I was looking to be the one interviewed. Will we perform trust exercises, work on a team project, or perhaps do each other's hair and make-up? Or will we simply be put in a row facing those interviewing and answer down the line? Anyway, I'm nervous. It's tomorrow afternoon, so maybe I'll understand more what the term means after.

I've applied for a couple other jobs and reposted my ads on Craigslist, so maybe I'll get more calls soon. Michael asked me last night if I felt like I was in a "housewife trance"...I guess my unrest is wearing me more than a little around the edges of my happy moods! There are days that I feel extremely discouraged, but most days I am thankful for the opportunity to spend time at home learning how to keep it clean and orderly without a schedule, so that when I do have one I will be better suited to plan my daily tasks like grocery shopping, laundry and tidying. Currently, though, those tasks do get left longer than they might otherwise, due to the absence of a time constraint! It's strange, but procrastination doesn't only happen in school...

Yesterday, I finished the third book in The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King. It is my favorite of the three, at once for its exciting war and "quest" sequences and for its deeply touching scenes of glory, grieving, and the joy of the meeting of close friends and loved ones following life's biggest and darkest moments. Also, Viggo Mortensen and Liv Tyler may be my favorite silver-screen matching ever, and their marriage happens at one of the most glorious moments in the book.

However, as I read one of the pivotal scenes, a memory of my late "godfather", Dave, came rushing back to me. The scene follows one of the most brutal battles, and the death of King Théoden, to whom the hobbit Merry had sworn his service in the days before the battle where he fell. It is a bittersweet scene, for several members of the Company of the Ring are reunited after the battle in the Houses of Healing. Merry was badly wounded, but is recovering quickly after Aragorn puts his healing skills to use. The hobbit is granted anything he wishes, as he gave the fatal blow to the leader of the Nazgul, the Ringwraiths. However, at the mention of a pipe, he falters.

'No, not a pipe. I don't think I'll smoke again....He is dead. It has brought it all back to me. He said he was sorry he never had a chance of talking herb-lore with me. Almost the last thing he ever said. I shan't ever be able to have a smoke again without thinking of him, and that day, Pippin, when he rode up to Isengard and was so polite.'
'Smoke then, and think of him!' said Aragorn.

For some reason, this scene brought me back to a moment in the last weeks of Dave's life, when he was very sick and far too weak to walk about on his own. He was resistant to death in many ways, and seemed to begrudge the fact that he felt caged in the house where he eventually passed. At one point, he managed to get out into the living room, but for some reason none of the men were around to help him back into the room where he had been lying in bed. As someone went to get one of them, I stood and supported him. Though he had been frantically trying to get outside, to get somewhere other than that bedroom, for a moment, he stopped and he looked at me straight in the eyes. Just for a few seconds he seemed to become lucid, and he said, "I love you". That is the last time I ever heard him say something directly to me before he died. I think I shut it out when it became too regular in those waking moments of grief in the days afterward, but as Merry is called to do, it is a treasured and invaluable memory and should be held on to.

The last scene of the LOTR seems almost out of place for a first-time reader...and still it seemed so for me as I read it for the third or fourth time. Why would Tolkien separate the hobbits, even all of those friends bound together by that horrible, yet deeply intimate, journey and quest in the War of the Ring? Shouldn't they live "happily ever after"? But his choice is the bolder for that seeming out-of-place decision. For those bonds of friendship will transcend the distance that separates the individuals, for they lived side by side and shared the most wonderful and terrible moments of their lives. It is much like death, I think. Of course, death is always a wrenching sadness for those left behind, but that (in my opinion) is chiefly due to our growing attachment to our worldly lives. Not that the experiences we share on earth are without meaning, for obviously this is where we forge those bonds and connections. However, we must focus instead on the heavenly kingdom, where no distance or time will separate us from one another, nor even from our God.

I think that the scene of the ships departing for the Grey Havens, carrying so many of the "greatest" of that quest and leaving behind Sam Gamgee and Merry & Pippen, the "little ones", is a touching illustration of those left behind on earth when one of our own goes to be with the Lord. And thus did the scene bring tears to my eyes, though I had read it before: and they were not all bitter, yet not all sweet, either.

Job hunting, a new lease, and, as always, kitties.

Last week we signed a new one-year lease; we've never lived somewhere long enough to do that! It was a cool feeling, though many might not think much of it. That being said, we got to choose a "bonus" from a short list, which was fun. I guess we could have chosen the "One-time cleaning" or "Have an accent wall painted"...even the "Go Green! All energy efficient bulbs". But, in light of a new budget that doesn't really have any set dinners out, we most certainly chose the "Dinner & a movie".

In other Burgess entertainment news, we have a weekend in Atlanta coming up to go to Zoo Atlanta AND a Taylor Swift concert! For those of you who are rolling your eyes for Michael's sake, don't: I attended a Chevelle concert with him about two years ago, at which I literally thought I was going to be moshed to pieces. Marriage is all about balance, eh? Having said that, I think we are both looking forward to the concert, even if he more just appreciates her talent. According to him, though, he's going to wear a cowboy hat and a pink Taylor Swift shirt to the show, and burst into tears when she comes on-stage. I can't decide which show I'm looking forward to more! Ha. Either way, it will be a great weekend. The zoo has a new giraffe calf, so that will be fun to see.

The past few days, Michael and I have been job-hunting for me. I had applied to a couple places locally, but since the applications now are almost 100% online, I wanted to introduce myself to the manager and pass along my resume in person. While this fact alone can't open up a job, I think that it's rare that someone actually takes the time to go somewhere before being asked for an interview, and I had almost all really positive reactions/exchanges with the managers I met. We'll see - Michael said to me last night that he felt "this was the week". Hmm.

It's so strange to think that, at this time a year ago, I was eagerly anticipating Michael's arrival home from Iraq. (The only reason I made that parallel today in particular was because Facebook did that "One year ago today" thing and told me what my status had been, ha.) What a year it has been. I miss Chicago, but I'm slowly but surely letting myself settle into our life here. It hasn't been easy, and Michael has had to put up with some major mood swings from me, but I am just completely unaccustomed to being without specific "goals" that are being given by specific teachers and mentors. God has blessed me with amazing professors who have not taken my individual strengths for granted, and who have pushed me to improve my personal weaknesses. I think one of my greatest struggles lately is feeling that I may very well lose some of the affinity that I gained the past two years especially while I flail around looking for a job. So I am trying to stop flailing and remind myself that I have been given talents by God and they are not something that I bought or found myself.

I wanted to share the latest funny shots of my cats. Mater has taken to the bathroom counter whenever Michael and I are in there getting ready or just taking a shower or a bath. I don't know that she'll fit on the one you see her on below when she's full-grown, but for now it's one of her favorite places.


Taffy is a strange one when it comes to love and attention; she much more than Mater is always jumping up on our laps or sitting right next to us on the couch, but she's very sensitive to what part of her we pet for any length of time, and is very quick to bite! I think they are actually "love bites", because otherwise I don't see why she would continue coming for attention. Unfortunately, I am not a cat and don't appreciate that kind of sign of love! Michael gives me a hard time about Taffy's and my relationship, saying I am always provoking her even though I complain when she bites or scratches. I think he's full of it ;-)


Almost everyday in the mid- to late-afternoon, the cats cuddle up for a little double-nap that often becomes a grooming session after not too long. It's one of the cutest things I've seen, and I'm always trying to get a "perfect" picture of it...finally we took a few seconds of video of them this weekend. Hope it makes you smile!