2nd to last time.

I’m typing this on a plane back to Chicago – this was Michael’s and my 2^nd to last weekend together before he heads out for Iraq. What an emotional rollercoaster! Of course that has been quite a common subject in my blog the past few times, I am aware, but luckily the “good” moments are still coming...and they even sometimes feel like they are coming more often even as we get closer to the goodbye for 6 months. I think one of the main reasons for this for me is the fact that starting this week I have three very busy weeks in the class that I teach, and after that we are into mid-term time so it will presumably continue through the end of the semester. Because of this, the fact that next weekend is the last one that I will be traveling and trying to work simultaneously AND deal with all of the emotional ups and downs being with Michael before his deployment brings is rather a relief. I mentioned this in my last entry I believe, but it is becoming more and more strong as a feeling.

We had a fabulous time this weekend. I flew in on Friday morning to Atlanta, and we hung at the hotel for a few hours before heading to dinner at an “Irish” pub – not bad food, but nothing to really write home about, either. We didn’t have much to choose from being just north of the airport unless we wanted to go into downtown, which wasn’t really something we wanted to do. Saturday morning I got some work done while Michael watched a movie and we headed into Atlanta after lunch. Michael had bought tickets to see his favorite band, Chevelle, about a month before, and so since it was a weekend I had planned to come down to see him we decided to just go ahead and stay in town for those 2 nights. Unfortunately, as soon as we got into town, the rains started again! We had planned to go to the park where Michael proposed to me to hang out, but ended up spending the majority of the time in the Lincoln either just waiting for the rain to stop and chatting or finishing a movie I was watching that I was going to be showing to my class this week! Luckily it did let off a bit eventually, so we got in about a 30 min promenade before the skies opened up again – but not before we got pretty soaked (even with our well-prepared umbrella!) on the way back to the car! We met up with one of his good friends, Chaz, and his girlfriend Vanezza and his stepmom Jackie, at the Melting Pot for dinner. It was fine, but again, not something we would do again. As Michael put it, he wouldn’t go back “unless I literally had nothing else to do”. So there you have it! Then the guys and me headed to the concert and Nezza and Jackie headed to see the play The Color Purple which was also playing in town that night. By this time the rain had stopped, which was good since concerts get sweaty enough without everyone’s clothes already being soaked! The concert, while not the type of music I normally choose to listen to, wasn’t bad. We managed to escape being in the VERY middle of the mosh pit (although Chaz ended up in it!) but I was concerned about my ears and the napkin that I had stuffed in them in lieu of earplugs, which I had forgotten to purchase beforehand! Anyway, I was glad to be able to go with Michael; he’s missed their past two or three tours out of the country, so this was great for him. He was glad I was able to be there with him, and also said to me afterwards that I can “drag him to any ballet, play, etc.” that I want! Ha. Maybe a Sarah McLachlan concert somewhere down the road.

After the concert we headed back to the hotel and yesterday drove back to Columbus for a night before driving BACK up to the airport. I’ll fly back again on Thursday through Monday, so I have a short but busy week – and I’m not even attending either one of my graduate classes! It is crazy. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for us during this time. I would love to hear from any of you about how things are going in your lives, too – it’s nice to not always be thinking about what Michael is doing at work or what the other TA’s are up to, since it’s pretty much what I do, too :-) God bless.

Gin & tonics...

...sometimes are the only solution to a problem! Stress, lesson planning, homework, being away from Michael...each has taken it's turn in the spotlight of impossibility over the past few weeks. However, it is true that sometimes a little lime and a little gin help to at least put things back into a realistic perspective! Thus the reason I sip one as I type this and take a break from a rather unproductive but otherwise relaxing Saturday at my studio here in Chicago.

Michael found out that their departure date for Iraq is October 10th-16th, so our last weekend together in GA will be Oct. 1st-5th. I have been fortunate enough to take two days off in order to spend a couple extra days down there, but the coming-and-going has certainly taken its toll, not to mention the emotional stress of the leading-up-to him leaving. Many days it feels completely "doable" and reasonable...like for some reason I've done this kind of thing before? Ha. But the days when it feels impossible, though not as common, are exhausting and often debilitating. God has blessed us so much and led us to this amazing place, but those days I find myself having a hard time being grateful. I know that, once Michael has finally left for the deployment and after the first week or two have passed, it will be fine. It will actually be the first time I am able to work an actual routine into my life since our wedding day! Strange. There has been SO much constant movement that I don't know that I know how to sit still anymore.

The Teacher's Assistantship has been a huge challenge, but I have also begun to have many moments of satisfaction after days when my students are responding positively (and giving the correct answers!), which is a nice feeling. Lesson planning doesn't take me 3 hours per lesson anymore, so now I am finally working in some actual grad class studying! Sometimes the irony of that thought is nothing short of laughable. The other TA's at UIC are absolutely fabulous, each and every one - there are 12 of us total. There are 4 French TA's who are all amazing resources and the rest of us are a great mix, coming from many backgrounds, universities, and ages. It's an awesome collaborative atmosphere, and slowly but surely, I think that most of the 1st-yr TA's are realizing that we aren't the only ones stumbling through on certain days! The more we teach and the more we compare notes with one another and other teachers, TA's and professors, the more it becomes evident that there is NO perfect teacher. Never will one know each student of each class so well that they can give a lesson that will "work" for all of them and their learning styles. At the end of the day, the best you can hope for is to have reached a few students, and that the rest will care enough to read the rules and come ask questions. One thing that our advisor told us in orientation will forever remain with me: "You really can't teach your students anything. They are the ones who have to choose to learn, and most of that is going to happen outside of the classroom." This epiphany was at the same time liberating and terrifying, given the fact that then we must obviously give them the right tools to be able to do the learning...but yeah, mostly liberating!

I love being able to speak French again everyday, and I love Chicago. Public transportation can still be nerve-wracking for all sorts of reasons, but it's nice to not worry about a car.

Please keep me and Michael in your prayers, and Michael especially after the 10th. It's going to be a great, challenging, exhilerating, impossible year full of lessons from God. We are both anxious and excited, and pretty much just ready to "start checking off the days"...while we realize that we need to enjoy the time apart for what it will be worth to us as individuals. Please pray that we will be able to do what we need to, and that we will meet people who will be support to us during times of need. You are all in my prayers and I hope very much that you are all doing well. May God bless you and keep you in your days, in your lying down and standing up, in your coming and going, and in your interaction with all of those around you. May His peace be in your heart always!