This idea that we each have the need for expression through some kind of art--and not in some philosophical and hypothetical sense of the word, but true art--was shocking. And, not surprisingly, this was one of the points during this talk: we are taught out of our creativity. A creative job (i.e. a job in the arts) is never one that someone will tell you will be a "good" choice. Unless, of course, your name is Lennon, McCartney, or Bono. Having said that--did any of those three have any idea where they would end up? Being celebrated 50 years after their first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, advocating in a bed for world peace, or standing up at political charity functions and next to the President, advocating for the world's poorest people? Not based on what I know of them. (And since they are three of my very favorite musicians, I have learned a few things about them.) Of course, this is just a demonstration of a few musical artists.
I don't know if my art is writing or singing. I love them both. I guess my question for myself is: what can you not stop yourself from doing? Perhaps it's this, as I felt the urge to come and share something with someone here, on the digital "page". Either way, I wanted to take a minute to see how many things I could list that I enjoy. Lately I have been feeling something like apathy when it comes to reflecting on "what I would like to be doing" or "what I enjoy about what I am currently doing [in school]". In no particular order other than how they come to my mind, here are some things that I enjoy:
- having a glass of wine with a dear one
- driving (if gas were free/before I was aware it wasn't)
- watching the Chicago Blackhawks
- hearing a great Beatles cover
- listening to the Beatles
- the smell of the ocean
- spending time with family
- speaking French
- traveling in France
- watching French movies
- reading and writing about French literature (especially if there were no quarters, grades, or deadlines)
- teaching 100-level French
- Chicago
- cuddling with my cats
- good sleep
- riding the bus (if it isn't one that feels like it might fall apart at any moment)
- having your smile smiled at, or being thanked for it
- exchanging a "hello" with someone you don't know
- writing without a time limit or a reason
- the idea of playing piano (it would be actually playing piano if I weren't so rusty)
- singing
- watching The Voice with my husband
- spending time with my husband when we're doing something that he loves and getting to see him enjoy himself
- spending time with friends and getting to know them better
- running into a friend around Ballard (or anywhere else, but it's happened here more than anywhere)
- knowing that I have siblings now through marriage
- remembering that I'm married and thinking about what that means
- thinking about being a TA forever (if that were possible, since I could keep teaching what I do now)
- hearing someone tell you you're on the right track
- knowing that God wants to know me better
- trying to understand that God sent his son to die for me
- trying to realize that each day will take care of itself, no matter how much or how little worry we throw into the pot with it
- cooking
- dreaming about the day I will have a dishwasher again
- dreaming about the day we might have a house
Clearly, I enjoy more things that I thought. Every time I'm asked, "Well, what do you want to do??" I never know what to say. There are, of course, other things. However, I think these are some of the most important right now, since they came to mind first. I guess I just don't want to be the one who doesn't understand that she's a "dancer", and I think this might be step 1 at this point. I've been feeling a bit lost, a bit sad, and a bit like I'm up a creek without a paddle. (In several areas of my life.) However, I have faith that God has reasons for this season (no rhyme intended...initially) and that He will bring me to the next step.
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